PERFECTION...What does it mean???

I feel GOOD today!!!

This was a GOOD weekend for me - did lots of thinking - and something came clearer to me!

Self Esteem
Perfection

These are two areas that I suffer - have always had very low self esteem and the feeling that I need to be perfect. If I am not perfect I just don't try or give a damn then I allow myself to shut down - and true happiness with myself escapes...

Well.... Sitting at the Ribfest this weekend - I did a lot of people watching!! I saw people of many colors, styles and shapes. I saw people that were confident - happy!! And while really observing them - I was thinking about PERFECTION.. Or this stupid idea of perfection that I have Concocted for myself. That I can not be REALLY happy unless I am perfect... Perfect weight, Perfect clothes - etc. BUT, really what is PERFECT!!! As I looked at 1000's of different people I realized that not one of them were the SAME!!! So why do I spend so much energy and time trying to be LIKE!! Instead of just being??? Now this isn't rocket science - and there is really no reason why this hit me now. Except that maybe I am finally taking those steps towards being happy - I mean REALLY HAPPY!!

I suppose it is just one more step toward my FUTURE!!

Make it a GREAT Day!! M

Heavy Heart... So Sad!!

Last night Heaven got another angel... Louise passed away in North Carolina after a Brave fight with Cancer - she was so strong and so strong in her love for God - she is with him now and I know HAPPY and Pain free.

We all have been friends for well over 25 year and she was like a second Mother to me, I will miss her so much - I just wished I could be there with Ed and the whole family!! Since I had surgery recently - I have NO time off from work - and NO extra $$. I might think about going to see them for Thanksgiving - we have spent many Holidays together over these years!!!

Please keep the Dupree/Elliott and King families in your thoughts and Prayers!!

Rest in Peace Sweet Louise!!! XOXO

YES I am alive and WELL!!

Not sure if I even have any followers to my BLOG and to those 1 or 2 - Let me just say I am sorry for my absence!!

Surgery was a SUCCESS - I was told all pathology reports were normal and there wasn't any Cancer involved. They did remove both Ovaries and F-Tubes. The Cyst itself was about a golf ball size - it did attach itself to my intestines and bladder. So it was a BLESSING and good thing this all came to light and we got it out of there.


My First two weeks of recovery were a BLUR - I was tired/Still am and in Pain!! Hurt the worst to get up and down from a lying down position. Needless to say I slept and functioned upright for a lot of the time.. LOL


My Mom was here a lot and helped so much!!! My Cousin Karol was a GODSEND she stayed with me over nights and hung out during the days... Trey also spent one night here as my go to Man!! One thing I got RE Hooked on Young and the Useless.. LOL Had lots of Visitors - My Photographer friend Heidi from Tampa came over and brought me a huge pan of YUMMY Lasagna - it was enjoyed by EVERYONE!! Cristy, John and the Girls came over to St. Pete to camp one weekend so that I could see them... It was GOOD MEDICINE!! Thank you!!


I went back to work 1/2 Days on week 3 - it was all I could do and glad I had made that decision. The 4th week I just played it by ear - couple days I left around 3ish.. and now I am pretty much back to FULL schedule.. I go for my last follow up with the Surgeon on Wed. I expect to be released to FULL DUTY!!! I am looking forward to getting more active and back to the Gym - I went back to Weight Watchers this weekend... Ready to rid myself of about 60 lbs!!

Last weekend we had a Cook out in Scottie's honor at Christi and Steve's house - to christen the new deck and sauna.. I tortured Trey with some updated Photos.. Isn't he handsome??


This weekend was Halloween fun filled - spent some time with the Family and my niece Tracy.. HA HA
Anyway - very sorry for the delay in posting..

I have taken some steps to get along with my FUTURE - I am so blessed with a Fantastic Family and the BEST Friends in the world. I take FRIENDSHIP Serious - you have to be a FRIEND to have a FRIEND..

Love you guys.. M

So Blessed!! Update 24 hrs till Surgery!!

Just thinking about my Life.. So BLESSED!!

Sure there are a couple things that I wished didn't happen or that may of happened differently - but OVER All, I would not CHANGE A THING!! I am so very BLESSED and LOVE the life I have and the Life I am going to Continue to have!!! So BLESSED!!

My Mom and Dad always provided for me - I always had a nice home to live in and Food on the table. Surrounded by LOVE and SUPPORT - When the Dog Died I was blessed with a Brother (Longtime family Joke) - He is a Fantastic Brother, Husband and Father - I am so very PROUD of him. My SIL Kathy is AWESOME and Trey well what can I Say there!! Except that guy is my HEART! LOL So BLESSED!!

I grew up with my Aunts and Uncles - and ALL My cousins - and now being taken care of by my Cousins Kids. I have friends that have never even met some of their families - but we are so involved and always surrounded by LOVE.. SO BLESSED!!

I have been Blessed with AWESOME Jobs thru the years - things that I truly LOVE and some of my Very Best Friends even today are because of those jobs.. We have share so much thru these 25 plus years!!! So BLESSED!!

My Photography - WOW I can capture memories FOREVER (some of my Family Gripe) but when it counts those photographs are our TREASURES!!! BUT, I have to say that Photography has given me something much more Valuable - it has given me some of the BESTEST Friends in the WORLD. We are in contact Daily - have been lucky enough to share ups and downs with many - Experienced the Miracle of BIRTH.. WE have gone on many trips - just being ourselves... And even sometimes they haven taken GOOD care of me.. LOL You all are in my HEART and I Love you all hope you know how much!! So BLESSED!!


I sit in my HOME - that as a single working woman - purchased Furnished and continues to pay for. Granted times haven't always been easy Money wise - and I have used CREDIT when I shouldn't of used it - continued to keep an excellent credit score. At least I have something and THINGS to show for what I have spent.. Not many can say that!! A lot of people these days are struggling with Finances - they cant pay bills and they may have NOTHING to show for that DEBT. I cant say that ... So BLESSED!!!!

I was never blessed with Children of my own - but I can not say that I don't know what it is like to be a Mother - my Friends have allowed me into the lives of their Children - I have been loved with all their hearts. I love being Miss Margie, Aunt Margie, MiMi, Auntie M - or anything else they choose to call me. I have been in the lives of so many children that are now Young Adults and I am so very PROUD of them.. So BLESSED!!

I have my Faith - my Love for GOD and his love for me - how can I ever go WRONG!!! So BLESSED!!

I will close with one of my Favorite Bible Verses:
PSALM 23

The Lord is my Shepherd...
THAT'S RELATIONSHIP!

I shall not want...
THAT'S SUPPLY!

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...
THAT'S REST!

He leadeth me beside still waters...
THAT'S REFRESHMENT!

He restoreth my soul...
THAT'S HEALING!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness...
THAT'S GUIDANCE!

For His name sake...
THAT'S PURPOSE!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
THAT'S CHALLENGE!

I will fear no evil...
THAT'S ASSURANCE!

For thou art with me...
THAT'S FAITHFULNESS!

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me...
THAT'S SHELTER!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies...
THAT'S HOPE!

Thou anointest my head with oil...
THAT'S CONSECRATION!

My cup runneth over...
THAT'S ABUNDANCE!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...
THAT'S BLESSING!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord...
THAT'S SECURITY!

Forever...
THAT'S ETERNITY!

Thank you to my FRIENDS & FAMILY for LOVING Me for who I am - I will continue to LIVE with my HEART and be the VERY BEST FRIEND Possible... It is just WHO I AM!!

Lots of LOVE and HUGS, M

Home from my BD Bash!!!

Just wanted to say that I am home safe from my Birthday Bash in the Mountains with my GOOD Friends... We had a BLAST and I promise to post MORE pics and give the overview..
.

And today when I came home from my Trip - I had a BIG, Heavy package for my BD!!! It was a so cool to find out that Daphne my Friend in AL - coordinated this SURPRISE!!! 20 plus friends from all over the US - pulled together and bought me a VERY Fancy Coffee Pot - Coffee Pods (Decaf and Hot Chocolate) a AWESOME Picture Frame and a M Cookie and a nice big Trevis Tumbler with a M on it... SO SO COOL!!!

Hope you all have a GREAT Evening - Be Blessed!!! XOXO

PS. Keep the prayers coming - I have my appointment with the Specialist tomorrow at 1:30pm!!

Sunday Evening Wind Down...

Even with Storms in your Life... There is BEAUTY and GOD is GOOD!!!

Hello Friends,

Not a whole lot to report Medically... Actually NOTHING.. LOL I called the Specialist on Friday just to follow up - was told that my reports were on his desk - he was at a Conference and would return Monday - once he looks them over - his secretary will call and set up an appointment.. WHATEVER!!! I did tell her that I would not be available Thurs- till after the holiday - Why is my TIME not as IMPORTANT... UGH!

This is going to be a GREAT week - I was bummed (but Understood) when my Friend Marnie said she was not going to be able to make the trip to the Mountains. BUT, everything happens for a REASON - she was able to get a job for this week.... GET THIS in Brandon/Riverview (what 45 mins away) - so the GREAT news is that I will get to see her Tues and Wed Evenings - she will get to see my house and meet Cory the Wonder Cat.. I wished the others could get to meet her and hang out - but I will be SELFISH and say I am HAPPY I get some time w/ her!

Thursday I will be heading to Nashville and 4 of us will be hanging out an awesome cabin in the Smokey Mts... Will be a FANTASTIC getaway!!! More about the trip later..

Hope everyone had a GREAT weekend... Be Blessed and LIVE with your HEART!!

XOXO, M

Little catch up Friends

Sorry I have been quiet - just not a lot to post!!!!

I was so blessed with Great Friends - Cristy and John had me over this weekend - to hang with them and the GIRLIES... Had a BLAST - just nice to take my mind off of things for a FEW Minutes here and there... Cristy treated me to a Pedicure was heaven and Brewster Ice Cream.. YUMMY!!! So thank you guys so much - I love you lots!!!

Monday - I called to make an appointment at the Specialist (So I thought) was set for Thursday @ 2:00 - then yesterday afternoon I get a call from their office said oh I listened to your message from Monday and realized you wanted - you cant do that without a referral - So then I had my DR. send the reports to him and he will review and call me for an appointment.

In the meantime I still had not gotten the blood work results... So today when I called for the 3rd time she faxed them to me and TO THE SPECIALIST -which was supposed to be YESTERDAY... SO I am still waiting for an appointment!!!

BUT there is good news DR. Margie analyzed her own blood results and the Ovarian Cancer marker was well in the NORMAL RANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So a little bit of RELIEF!!!

Stay tuned - keep Praying... LOVE YOU ALL...

PS. GO BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!