I feel GOOD today!!!
This was a GOOD weekend for me - did lots of thinking - and something came clearer to me!
Self Esteem
Perfection
These are two areas that I suffer - have always had very low self esteem and the feeling that I need to be perfect. If I am not perfect I just don't try or give a damn then I allow myself to shut down - and true happiness with myself escapes...
Well.... Sitting at the Ribfest this weekend - I did a lot of people watching!! I saw people of many colors, styles and shapes. I saw people that were confident - happy!! And while really observing them - I was thinking about PERFECTION.. Or this stupid idea of perfection that I have Concocted for myself. That I can not be REALLY happy unless I am perfect... Perfect weight, Perfect clothes - etc. BUT, really what is PERFECT!!! As I looked at 1000's of different people I realized that not one of them were the SAME!!! So why do I spend so much energy and time trying to be LIKE!! Instead of just being??? Now this isn't rocket science - and there is really no reason why this hit me now. Except that maybe I am finally taking those steps towards being happy - I mean REALLY HAPPY!!
I suppose it is just one more step toward my FUTURE!!
Make it a GREAT Day!! M
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Heavy Heart... So Sad!!
Last night Heaven got another angel... Louise passed away in North Carolina after a Brave fight with Cancer - she was so strong and so strong in her love for God - she is with him now and I know HAPPY and Pain free.
We all have been friends for well over 25 year and she was like a second Mother to me, I will miss her so much - I just wished I could be there with Ed and the whole family!! Since I had surgery recently - I have NO time off from work - and NO extra $$. I might think about going to see them for Thanksgiving - we have spent many Holidays together over these years!!!
We all have been friends for well over 25 year and she was like a second Mother to me, I will miss her so much - I just wished I could be there with Ed and the whole family!! Since I had surgery recently - I have NO time off from work - and NO extra $$. I might think about going to see them for Thanksgiving - we have spent many Holidays together over these years!!!
Please keep the Dupree/Elliott and King families in your thoughts and Prayers!!
Rest in Peace Sweet Louise!!! XOXO
Sunday, November 01, 2009
YES I am alive and WELL!!
Not sure if I even have any followers to my BLOG and to those 1 or 2 - Let me just say I am sorry for my absence!!
Surgery was a SUCCESS - I was told all pathology reports were normal and there wasn't any Cancer involved. They did remove both Ovaries and F-Tubes. The Cyst itself was about a golf ball size - it did attach itself to my intestines and bladder. So it was a BLESSING and good thing this all came to light and we got it out of there.
My First two weeks of recovery were a BLUR - I was tired/Still am and in Pain!! Hurt the worst to get up and down from a lying down position. Needless to say I slept and functioned upright for a lot of the time.. LOL
My Mom was here a lot and helped so much!!! My Cousin Karol was a GODSEND she stayed with me over nights and hung out during the days... Trey also spent one night here as my go to Man!! One thing I got RE Hooked on Young and the Useless.. LOL Had lots of Visitors - My Photographer friend Heidi from Tampa came over and brought me a huge pan of YUMMY Lasagna - it was enjoyed by EVERYONE!! Cristy, John and the Girls came over to St. Pete to camp one weekend so that I could see them... It was GOOD MEDICINE!! Thank you!!
I went back to work 1/2 Days on week 3 - it was all I could do and glad I had made that decision. The 4th week I just played it by ear - couple days I left around 3ish.. and now I am pretty much back to FULL schedule.. I go for my last follow up with the Surgeon on Wed. I expect to be released to FULL DUTY!!! I am looking forward to getting more active and back to the Gym - I went back to Weight Watchers this weekend... Ready to rid myself of about 60 lbs!!
Last weekend we had a Cook out in Scottie's honor at Christi and Steve's house - to christen the new deck and sauna.. I tortured Trey with some updated Photos.. Isn't he handsome??
This weekend was Halloween fun filled - spent some time with the Family and my niece Tracy.. HA HA
Anyway - very sorry for the delay in posting..
I have taken some steps to get along with my FUTURE - I am so blessed with a Fantastic Family and the BEST Friends in the world. I take FRIENDSHIP Serious - you have to be a FRIEND to have a FRIEND..
Love you guys.. M
Surgery was a SUCCESS - I was told all pathology reports were normal and there wasn't any Cancer involved. They did remove both Ovaries and F-Tubes. The Cyst itself was about a golf ball size - it did attach itself to my intestines and bladder. So it was a BLESSING and good thing this all came to light and we got it out of there.
My First two weeks of recovery were a BLUR - I was tired/Still am and in Pain!! Hurt the worst to get up and down from a lying down position. Needless to say I slept and functioned upright for a lot of the time.. LOL
My Mom was here a lot and helped so much!!! My Cousin Karol was a GODSEND she stayed with me over nights and hung out during the days... Trey also spent one night here as my go to Man!! One thing I got RE Hooked on Young and the Useless.. LOL Had lots of Visitors - My Photographer friend Heidi from Tampa came over and brought me a huge pan of YUMMY Lasagna - it was enjoyed by EVERYONE!! Cristy, John and the Girls came over to St. Pete to camp one weekend so that I could see them... It was GOOD MEDICINE!! Thank you!!
I went back to work 1/2 Days on week 3 - it was all I could do and glad I had made that decision. The 4th week I just played it by ear - couple days I left around 3ish.. and now I am pretty much back to FULL schedule.. I go for my last follow up with the Surgeon on Wed. I expect to be released to FULL DUTY!!! I am looking forward to getting more active and back to the Gym - I went back to Weight Watchers this weekend... Ready to rid myself of about 60 lbs!!Last weekend we had a Cook out in Scottie's honor at Christi and Steve's house - to christen the new deck and sauna.. I tortured Trey with some updated Photos.. Isn't he handsome??
This weekend was Halloween fun filled - spent some time with the Family and my niece Tracy.. HA HAAnyway - very sorry for the delay in posting..
I have taken some steps to get along with my FUTURE - I am so blessed with a Fantastic Family and the BEST Friends in the world. I take FRIENDSHIP Serious - you have to be a FRIEND to have a FRIEND..
Love you guys.. M
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